Kelly's Comments - November 2022

Kelly Hunter

Kelly's Comments - November 2022

I have learned so much from this #FriendshipGoals issue. From the Gang of Four to our two profiles of besties, the women featured in these pages are terrific examples of true friends. The love, laughter and lack of judgment they display is inspirational.

Paisley Prescriptions - November 2022

Jay W. Floyd, MD

Get in the Bone Zone: Put Bone Health on Your Prevention Radar

Paisley Prescriptions - November 2022

Maintaining good health for your bones is recommended at every age. Moderate exercise and vitamin-rich nutrition can help keep your skeleton in tip-top condition. However, aging bones can weaken and, in severe cases, become brittle. Bone health is usually not thought about until there’s a problem. That’s why it’s time to put your bones on your prevention radar to help reduce your risk of breaking a bone, maintaining good posture and reducing aches and pains. We asked Dr. Jay W. Floyd to get us started on taking care of our bones and share his knowledge about bone health with us. Read on to learn more.


Are there ways to keep osteoporosis from worsening?

Yes, there are a variety of ways to prevent osteoporosis from worsening, including lifestyle measures, such as adequate calcium and vitamin D intake, smoking cessation, moderation of alcohol intake and regular weight-bearing exercise. Also, taking prescription medication to treat diagnosed osteoporosis will prevent worsening and may improve overall bone health. Some prescription medication also may prevent progression of osteopenia (early bone loss) to osteoporosis.

Single File - November 2022

Susan Deitz

Dissed by Your Bestie for a Man. Really?

Single File - November 2022

DEAR SUSAN: I had plans to go to a movie with my BFF and was really looking forward to dishing with her over a meal afterward. But this afternoon, she phoned and canceled. Why? Because some new man in her life wants to see her tonight. What am I, chopped liver? ­—From the "Single File" blog

DEAR READER: Ouch. It hurts to be told your company is considered second-rate, (distant) runner-up to the male. Even an unknown commodity—which this new man certainly is—gets preferential treatment when it comes to scheduling time. Not only are you, her best friend, given basement status, but also the substitution came at the last minute, with little or no explanation or regrets. You certainly have a right to feel devalued as a person and as a same-sex buddy. Your BFF just announced that time with a same-sex friend is cheap, simply a filler until a man enters the picture. Like your best friend, many women devalue every form of companionship while waiting for The Man Who Isn't There. Because they consider themselves alone if they share time with someone other than a "live one," they almost turn cartwheels to share their time with a man. You are correct in feeling like an also-ran, because that's how you rank in your BFF's mind. (Incidentally, you might consider changing her title to BFUUM, best friend until and unless a man comes along.) By the way, chopped liver is considered by some to be a gourmet delicacy.

Parenting November 2022: The Most Important Social Courtesy to Teach a Child

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting November 2022: The Most Important Social Courtesy to Teach a Child

One of the characteristics of a truly civilized society is the ubiquitous use of proper social courtesies. Raising a child is all about civilizing the savage within; therefore, “manners,” as they are known, should be taught to a child early and diligently.

A parent recently wrote me, asking, “What’s the most important social courtesy to teach a child?”

My answer to that great question: To not interrupt adult conversations.

In learning not to interrupt,
a child learns patience, which is to say, impulse control.

It also strengthens the social boundary that should exist between the child and adults; hence, the child’s respect for adults. In other words, being taught not to interrupt adult conversations, including phone conversations, benefits the child as much or more than it benefits adults.

Kelly's Comments - October 2022

Kelly Hunter

Kelly's Comments - October 2022

I look forward to October every year. When I was little it was because it’s my birth month. As I got older, I held onto the joy of dressing up and looked forward to Halloween fun. Since I moved to Coastal Georgia a couple decades ago, I have relished the thought of October’s cooler temperatures. This year I have a special reason to enjoy this most glorious month of the year: My mom is back in Brunswick!

Single File - October 2022

Susan Deitz

From Hermitude to New Attitude: Don’t let Your Singleness Single You Out

Single File - October 2022

DEAR SUSAN:
You're always writing about “undependence” —the word you coined that means wholeness, I guess. Well, I've proved that I can do it all—be a good parent, have a life, work, manage it all. But now what? I'm so darned lonely. —From the "Single File" blog

Parenting October 2022: Obedient or Defiant? The Choice is in Your Actions

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting October 2022: Obedient or Defiant? The Choice is in Your Actions


The mother of a 5-year-old girl tells her to dress for school. The child replies, insolence abounding, “No! I don’t want to, and I’m not going to!” Mom tells her that if she doesn’t dress, she will go to school in her pajamas. The child dresses. And that’s the end of it. Or is it?

“Did I do the right thing?” Mom asks.

“Was her defiance on that occasion a one-off?”

“Oh, no,” Mom replies. “She defies me about most things.”

“Then you achieved getting her to put on her clothes,” I answer, “but you made no dent in the real problem.”

Kelly's Comments - September 2022

Kelly Hunter

Kelly's Comments - September 2022

“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”  —Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

How appropriate that our Pet Yearbook coincided with our #HealthyHabits issue. Pets are members of our families, but they are also good for us. When I spend 15 minutes giving Paisley, my cat, head scratches, my heart rate slows and I can enter a semi-meditative state. Talk about a healthy habit! When Elizabeth Millen, our publisher, takes her dog Henry to the beach, she is exercising and spending time in nature—two very healthy habits indeed!

Single File - September 2022

Susan Deitz

Hey Ladies, Stay Mysterious!

Single File - September 2022

DEAR SUSAN:
You’re always going on about head games between men and women, yet I’ve read where you are a strong believer in a woman’s mystery. Please explain. —From the “Single File’’ Blog

DEAR BLOGGER:

The mystery I favor is poles apart from the senseless and childish phoniness so common in the dating game. It takes a clever woman (yes, mystery is usually associated with the female of the species.) It has to do with not telling your life story from day one too early in a promising relationship. Be charming, soft, feminine. Leave plenty of silent spaces in the conversation for him to tell his story. Don’t laugh too often, but do smile when appropriate.

Kelly's Comments - August 2022

Kelly Hunter

Kelly's Comments - August 2022

“If you become a teacher, by your students you’ll be taught.” -Oscar Hammerstein II

If that quote seems familiar to you, you might be a musical theatre fan. It’s from “Getting to Know You” from The King and I. Dear readers, you may not know this about me, but I am a huge fan of musical theatre. I also used to teach Theatre Appreciation at College of Coastal Georgia. I’m from a teaching family. Both my mother and her mother were teachers. I value education. Teaching is hard work, but if your heart is in it, the work is worth it. We need to make sure our teachers feel appreciated and supported, because they are asked to deal with a whole lot on a daily basis.

Single File - August 2022

Susan Deitz

Sexual Bill of Rights

Single File - August 2022

Sexual expression is part of mental and physical well-being. On that we probably agree. And being unmarried, you know how difficult it is to find a caring and committed partner. It’s well worth waiting for, because when soul mates join spirit and flesh, their union can approach spiritual communion. Once that’s experienced, anything less is out of the question. But to aspire to that height, you must first make sense of the sexual choice overload too readily offered in single life.

Reel Corner - July 2022

Donne Paine

First Ladies and Patriotism

Reel Corner - July 2022

It’s difficult to live in the shadows of a powerful partner, and it’s never so clear as to those few women who have held the position of First Lady—the wife of the President of the United States.

Amazon Prime/Showtime is running a series titled The First Lady. They follow and highlight three First Ladies: Eleanor Roosevelt, Betty Ford and Michele Obama. All three of whom clearly made an impact on women’s roles and rights, using their personality and celebrity to highly influence while their husbands were in office.

The First Lady is a revealing reframing of American leadership through the lens of these three First Ladies. Starring Viola Davis as Michelle Obama, Michelle Pfeiffer as Betty Ford and Gillian Anderson as Eleanor Roosevelt, this series delves deep into these ladies’ personal and political lives, exploring everything from their journeys to Washington, their family lives and their world-changing political contributions. It is clear the impact of the White House’s women is no longer hidden just behind the scenes.

Kelly's Comments - July 2022

Kelly Hunter

Kelly's Comments - July 2022


Y’all! It is hot out there! I’ve had to get creative on getting my fresh air, going for walks in the evenings rather than the afternoons. I’ve also been consuming more and more creative content as I spend time inside enjoying the world’s greatest invention: Air Conditioning! There is so much fantastic content available online that one can easily feel overwhelmed.

Single File - July 2022

Susan Deitz

Bitterness, Blame and Beyond

Single File - July 2022

Of all the aftershocks of love’s endings, bitterness does the most damage because it’s sneaky. While it clouds perception, it silently fulfills its own prophecy, which is that people will stay away. Potential friends and lovers keep their distance from an embittered person, which only serves to confirm his/her sour view of life, completing the circle of cynicism. (Deep sigh.)

But when people are content with life and with themselves, they, for the most part, view life’s downturns fairly, placing blame where deserved while (ahem) shouldering the rightful share of responsibility for mistakes, which are almost inevitable in a full life. So what’ll it be, bitter or optimistic? Take your choice. I kid you not, my friend; it is indeed a conscious choice. There are ways to remain hopeful, even when life tosses you a world-class curve.

Parenting July 2022: Teens are Not Entitled to RAge & Disrespect

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting July 2022: Teens are Not Entitled to RAge & Disrespect

Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it. It comes out of him in the form of a lot of disrespect directed toward me. What should I do about this?

A: I assume that by “this” you mean your son’s supposed anger concerning his father. If I’m right, then you’re focusing on the wrong issue. The problem is the disrespect and hostility your son directs toward you.

In the first place, you’re playing amateur psychologist. You’re engaging in pure speculation (which is, by the way, all a psychologist is doing when he claims to know what causes a person to behave in a certain manner). Your theory concerning his disrespect gives your son a free pass to behave as abusively toward you as he pleases. On the other hand, if you happen to be right about the source of your son’s “anger,” the question becomes “so what?”

Paisley Prescriptions - July 2022

Natalia Vanessa Chaar Tirado, M.D.

I Just Don’t Feel Right. Could it be my Thyroid?

Paisley Prescriptions - July 2022

You may not be able to point to your thyroid, but it controls many activities in your body, including how fast you burn calories and how fast your heart beats—pretty important things. However, the thyroid seems to be a mystery gland that is not thought about until it begins to wreak havoc. Basically, when your thyroid is functioning properly, things we take for granted, like a good night’s sleep, regular bowel movements, controlled inner temps—not inappropriately hot or cold, are also functioning properly. Because an out-of-order thyroid can cause symptoms that are quite common, usually the thyroid is the last thing we look to as the culprit for our dis-ease and discomfort. That’s why we wanted to unlock the mystery behind this little gland in your neck that can make feeling good a real pain-in-the-neck! In order to learn more about the almighty thyroid, we asked our local expert to clue us in.

What does a thyroid do?

The thyroid gland is an endocrine gland located in the front of the neck that produces thyroid hormones, which are secreted into the circulation then carried to every organ in the body.Thyroid hormones are critical in brain and neurological development in infants and of metabolic activity in adults. Metabolism is the process by which the body converts our food intake into energy.

Single File - June 2022

Susan Deitz

All The Single Ladies: Here’s the Answers to a Few of Your Questions

Single File - June 2022

Oxymoron
Dear Susan: Last weekend, I had sex with a woman who’s just a friend. (She and I laughed and said it was “friends with benefits.”) But now she’s calling me regularly, asking when I’m coming to see her again. I feel so guilty. It was purely platonic on my part. She’s a nice girl, but honestly, it meant nothing. What should I do?

Dear Reader: It might have meant nothing to you, but it could have unlocked some hopes in her. (Deep sigh.) That’s the tricky part of this misnomer—it’s supposedly casual but rarely so. The hurtful part of the rutting we’ve come to label “casual” is that one of the partners usually brings into the bed a secret hope. They don’t dare express it, fearing their lover will fly the coop. They play the game, pretending the passion is shared, but what lies beneath is a yearning for the real thing. And if you suspect the pretender is usually female, you are correct. And so, the path of casual sex is littered with feminine yearning. The female is the one who proves that “casual sex” is an oxymoron. How can the joining of pulsing flesh be ho-hum casual? Think about it. Then call her and apologize.

Parenting June 2022: Nip it in the Bud

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting June 2022: Nip it in the Bud

Q: Our sons are six and four. When their same-age cousins come over, they all go down into our basement to play. Invariably, within thirty minutes my youngest comes upstairs crying because his older brother is causing the cousins to gang up against him. I end up going down into the basement every half hour to settle these disputes. Is there a way to solve the problem once and for all?

A: You’ve discovered, the hard way, that “settling” one of these conflicts does not solve the problem. In fact, settling 1,358,495 of these disputes will not solve the problem. In further fact, you serving as a mediator is making matters worse. Unwittingly, by coming to your youngest son’s rescue, you cause the other boys to resent him and want to get back at him. When they do, he cries, you come running, you rescue, and again they resent him, and around and around it goes.

Paisley Prescriptions - June 2022

Diane Bowen, M.D.

We've Got Your Back!

Paisley Prescriptions - June 2022

Back pain is one of the most common medical problems in the country. It can range from a dull, constant ache to a sudden, sharp pain. Whether it comes on suddenly from a fall or strain, or develops slowly because of age-related degenerative changes, it’s important to take care of your back and pay attention to what your pain may be trying to tell you. In some cases, serious medical conditions can cause back pain. Treatment will vary based on causes and symptoms, but there are steps you can take to lower your chance of chronic back pain.

Kelly's Comments - June 2022

Kelly Hunter

Kelly's Comments - June 2022

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”  —Helen Keller

We all get scared sometimes. I’m not talking about the fun thrill of a roller coaster or a scary movie.

Single File - May 2022

Susan Deitz

All The Single Ladies: Here’s the Answers to a Few of Your Questions

Single File - May 2022

A New Language
You don’t have to be single to be shy, but it’s more likely when your way of life pushes you to meet new people and make entrances ... solo. That’s why it’s so important to learn the language of SMALL TALK. (It merits capitals because it’s not so easy to learn.) Truth is it’s a totally new language for those of us who never inherited the gift of easy, flowing, not-very-important chatter. Which brings me back to a cringeworthy moment years ago at the United Nations in New York City when I was introduced to an old-time film legend and left alone with him. (If you must know, it was Douglas Fairbanks Jr.) I can still see the expression on my face—and his—as the two of us agonizingly croaked out sounds we hoped passed for conversation. Disaster!

Parenting May 2022: Chores, Stepdaughters and Toilet Training

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting May 2022: Chores, Stepdaughters and Toilet Training

Q: When I give my 5-year-old daughter a chore, she does it, but all the while she is muttering under her breath, huffing and puffing, and so on. Do I discipline that behavior or just let her vent?
A:
Let her vent! She may have a “bad attitude,” but she does what she is told. She’s just being petulant, which in this situation doesn’t qualify as misbehavior. It’s mere childishness. In fact, I would predict that if you began punishing her petulant outbursts, she might swing to true rebellion. Count your blessings and leave this issue alone.

Paisley Prescriptions - May 2022

Diane Bowen, M.D.

Follow Your Heart to Good Health: Heart Disease & Stroke

Paisley Prescriptions - May 2022

You recently gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby. You should be feeling excitement and joy, right? Not necessarily. “Many new mothers feel the worry, fatigue or sadness known as the ‘baby blues.’ It’s important to distinguish between that and postpartum depression, a condition which brings on stronger, more debilitating feelings that can linger weeks or months,” says Shirley D. Wilson, M.D., FACOG, a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist at Southeast Georgia Health System. Dr. Wilson practices at Southeast Georgia Physician Associates-Obstetrics & Gynecology in Brunswick, Georgia.

When a new mother becomes depressed, she may feel overwhelmed by sadness, irritability, anxiety, emptiness, hopelessness, or lethargy. She may have trouble concentrating, may eat too much or not enough, may sleep too little or too much. Some women experience unexplained aches and pains. Others spiral into major depression and suicidal thoughts.

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