Hissy Fit - September 2022 - Breaking Up: With Some Bad B’s
...because everyone needs one every once in awhile
September 2022 Issue
by Elizabeth Skenes Millen
Binge watching a television series on a streaming app actually starts with an A—addiction. Aha, they got you! I was having a conversation with a local server the other evening, and he was talking about how wonderful a certain series was and how he stays up all night watching it. I don’t know the stats, but I believe lots of people do this. I want to break the news to binge watchers that they are in complete control. I’m not sure how we get hooked, probably because one show starts immediately after the one before it finishes, but somehow, the fact that we can stop it, get a great night’s sleep and resume right where we left off during our next free time slot eludes our brains. Thus we binge watch…for hours on end.
It’s time to break up with binging. Binging is never good; it is a state of being out of control and defined as a drunken revel; a spree; an act of compulsive consumption. Literally, something besides your brain is in control; whether it be a family-size bag of M&M’s or “Ozark,” one has to be in a trance to eat or watch to the end in one sitting. Put a time limit on yourself, assure yourself over and over again that it will still be there tomorrow, turn off the TV and go to bed. Rest assured, no show feels as good as a great night of sleep.
I’m just here to say that both women and men put up with way too much bad behavior, call it love, get married, have children, (this may come before or after marriage) and get divorced. Maya Angelou said, “When people show you who they are believe them the first time.” Is there any better advice than this when it comes to romantic relationships? A person’s behavior does not lie, and there is no need for excuses or justifications when it comes to bad, rude, crude, mean, deal-breaking behavior. Seriously, let deal-breakers break the deal. These people are not going to change. If they ghost you, vanish from them! If they hit you, block them forever! If they lie, say bye! If they cheat, don’t repeat! Dating is to see if you are compatible with each other. When did you become compatible with feeling bad, drama, sadness, hurt, anguish and all the other BS that comes along with bad behavior? Break up, and break out in joy; you have a better life ahead. P.S. Don’t ever go back to someone you have already been rescued from. Promise yourself!
Stop being late already; it is a sure sign you do not have your act together. Yes, I have seen on social media the memes that say being late just means you are an optimist. As much as I love this justification (a.k.a. a lie), it is not true. And, believe me, the person waiting on you is slowly seething into a pessimist and is over your tardiness. Being late is disrespectful, whether you mean to or not, and I have to believe most people don’t mean to. Nonetheless, being late starts a meeting, even with friends, off to a bad start. The person who showed up on time had to sit and worry for however many minutes they had to wait. Negative thoughts filled their minds—“Are they ok? Are they going to show up? Am I getting stood up? Do I look dumb sitting here by myself? Will we be able to get everything done in time?”
Breaking up with being late is one of the easier breakups; you simply have to stop doing the things that you’re doing in time to get ready, leave, allot for traffic and be on time. In other words, you cannot be getting in the shower at 9:00 to meet someone at 9:30 at a place that is 15 minutes away. I don’t care if you have to respond to two more emails, make one more phone call, feed the dog, or cut your toenails, stop what you are doing to be able to be on time—this is a non-negotiable! You owe it to the person you’re meeting and to your reputation!
Stop hating your body, and stop making fun of others’ bodies. We are born with our body shape, none of us can help if we have big hips, small boobs, broad shoulders, skinny legs, whatever. Yes, we can control our weight, but everyone knows that’s not always an easy task. It takes time, mindset, changing bad habits and some people can never achieve it, or may not want to. In the meantime, there is no need to look in the mirror and degrade yourself. Instead, praise your body for what it has done for you, praise it for the parts of it you love, praise that it provides you life every day. Be gentle with what you see as awful or ugly. Try to see it as not so bad, and be willing to help it get better. When is the last time you were kind to your belly fat or hips? Maybe they would become more cooperative if you didn’t despise them so much.
For God’s sake take responsibility for your actions, and stop blaming anyone and anything. This is called adulting and not being a wuss. Things go wrong every single day—that’s life—and it doesn’t have to be someone’s fault. Just think if the Wright Brothers would have blamed each other every time a plane didn’t get off the ground during the invention of flight; they would have fought between themselves and probably given up before ever soaring into the air. Blaming stops soaring altogether. It’s a negative reaction that inhibits the process of innovation and turns the focus to what’s wrong, what can’t be done and who did it. Blaming is the antithesis of accountability. Someone who is willing to go the distance is not afraid of being held accountable for both mistakes and successes. Blamers are immature and insecure. Chances are they are the least qualified in the room, and blaming conveniently takes the focus off of them. Blamers are going to blame, but if it’s you, just stop.
Bottom line: Life’s too short to welcome people and things that bring you down, or make you less, into your life. It’s time to BE good to yourself; BE good to others; and BE all you can be. When you do, you will BE so happy to BE you!