It’s pretty easy to have a stellar attitude when you know your purpose and you have what you need to execute it. But if you don’t have what you need, the purpose alone could still be enough. The trouble comes when people are mistaken about or don’t know what is their purpose. Better to just to name one and go after it than to stress over which one to claim. Clarity of purpose will be the saving grace to this Mercury retrograde.

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There is no doubt almost everyone in the world has had a brush with stress this year. For many, daily living routines have become overwhelming, sparking a growing trend of sadness, anxiety and depression. In our modern-day world, where we flit here and there, overload our to-do lists, argue over every little thing and rarely relax without some type of electronic device, the rat-race now sets the pace many follow. That combined with Covid-19, elections, violence and social distancing—it’s no wonder feelings of panic and hopelessness are at an all-time high. However, there is help. We asked our local health professionals to weigh-in on anxiety and depression to help us understand what it is, how it affects us and what we can do about it.

A mother in California seeks her pastor’s opinion on allowing her 15-year-old son to have a smart phone. The boy claims that if he can’t use social media, he will have no friends. Mom is skeptical concerning the claim and afraid of other Internet experiences the youngster might be drawn to if he has a smart phone.

The pastor tells Mom that her son needs to learn to navigate the realities of the Internet and learn to use a smart phone responsibly before he goes off to college. Three years! The Doomsday Clock is ticking!

“Help me out here,” Mom asks me.

Inspired by the Langston Hughes poetic quote, “Gather out of stardust earth dust, cloud dust, and splinters of hail—one handful of dream dust—not for sale”, this mural by Cullen Peck can be found at the corner of Egmont and Howe Streets in downtown Brunswick. Part of the Community of Hope project sponsored by Glynn Visual Arts, “Dream Dust” brings to life the connection of childhood memories and dreamscapes. (More artworks by Cullen Peck at the Ritz Theatre Oct 2-Nov 20)

The reversal of Jupiter and other planetary liberations will fly a permission slip into the month. Do your feelings. Emote. If happy, then feel the joy and dance on. Talking about why and trying to sort out the recipe diminishes the good feeling. The same goes for negative feelings. When you’re sad, angry, ashamed, just call it that, feel it and work it through. Don’t muddle things up by intellectualizing with a story or an explanation.

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Really? Do I still need the sex talk?

Of course you do! Sex isn’t a one-and-done when it comes to talking and learning about your sexual needs, desires and health. Our bodies change as the decades go by, which impacts your sexual health with new issues always arising. To achieve your best sexual health—and keep your intimacy in shape—be sure to talk to your doctor regularly about any concerns, strange sensations, or noticeable changes you may be experiencing. Don’t be afraid to ask any question, even if you find it embarrassing. Remember, sex is a science that your doctor has studied for years. One last thing: Tell all! You have to be 100 percent honest and detailed with your physician if you want the best solution. Rest assured, doctors really have heard it all!

Our 10-month-old son has recently discovered the joys of throwing finger food on the floor at mealtimes. He doesn’t seem to care if I feed it to him myself, one piece at a time, but isn't it important that he start feeding himself?

Not to worry. The emergence of “throwing food on the floor behavior” at this age, especially if a dog is waiting below, is indisputable indication that the child’s development, not to mention sense of humor, is proceeding according to plan.

Years ago, my mother taught me an easy embroidery stitch to create one-of-a-kind card stock tiny houses. Designed as gift boxes, I stuff socks, winter gloves, or chocolates in them to create smiles. I use my Nana Millen’s postcards from the early twentieth century of which I have hundreds. She was the one who taught my mom. How do you like this one?

Countdown to Uranus Retrograde In these final days of Uranus direct, it is prudent to note the many ways in which our lives are enchanted by all that was built before we got here. Usually, what seems like immediate magic is actually the result of a long stretch of work that included hits, failed experiments and predictable wins. Keep this in mind as you go forward creating what someone in the future is likely to experience as immediate magic.

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Is the constant desire to eat and a love of food considered addictive? How do people get relief from their obsessive food thoughts, which can lead to dangerous weight gain? What types of treatment are available?   

Although unlisted in the manual of psychiatric diagnoses, the concept of food addiction has gained a toehold in medical literature according to WebMD.

In 1972, a Stanford University psychologist conducted a study in which young children, individually, were offered either a small but immediate reward (a marshmallow or a pretzel) or a doubled reward if they were able to wait for fifteen minutes. In follow-up studies, researchers found that children who were able to postpone gratification experienced better life outcomes as measured by such things as SAT scores, academic achievement, and body mass index.

I have long maintained that well-done research in the so-called social sciences does nothing but confirm common sense, and it certainly seems commonsensical that impulsivity and difficulty delaying gratification have a negative impact on life outcomes. The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, as it is known, bears significantly on childrearing attitudes and approaches. Simply, teaching a naturally impulse-driven child to exercise restraint greatly increases the child’s chances of success.

Always enamored with U.S. history, I could have been knocked over with a feather when I met my husband Chuck in 1979. He told me he was from upstate New York and how his hometown, Seneca Falls, is known as the birthplace of women’s rights. One of my best visits there was in the early 80s when hundreds gathered around the main plaza at the National Park Service Women’s Rights National Historic Park for opening day. We got to cut one very long ribbon at the site of the 1848 Women’s Declaration of Sentiments Convention, which was a big thrill for me to be part of!

Pain is part of living. Biologically, it’s the part that keeps us alive the best. If we weren’t always running from it, we’d be much more vulnerable to predators and other threats to survival. As much as we like to think we can rid our lives of pain, we can’t, and even if we could, it wouldn’t work to our advantage. The sun/Jupiter opposition from July 12-19 suggests we ascribe a meaning to our pain that will make it easier to embrace.

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We asked two of our wellness panel experts to share their Top 2 most popular non-surgical rejuvenation treatments for their patients—ones considered most popular for many reasons, including producing fantastic results. Here’s what Dr. Diane Bowen and Dr. Harold Kent had to share:

I have come up with a new psychological diagnosis, one that I won’t, however, be submitting for approval to the powers that be: simply, odd. My “odd” is to be distinguished from ODD, the acronym for oppositional defiant disorder, an invention that enables mental health professionals to obtain payment from insurance providers…but that’s another column entirely. Stay tuned!

Odd is what all human beings are. Starting from the top down, all adults are odd. I am odd, you are odd, Bill Gates is odd, President Trump is odd, Barak Obama is odd (must have diversity, you know), and so on. Most people, by early adulthood at the latest, begin to identify their personal peculiarities and realize they must be concealed from the general public lest they cause social and employment difficulties. Adults who fail to conceal their oddities are prone to becoming known as “jerks” and other equally hobbling nicknames. Or, they become mental health professionals, politicians, and famous actors who win Academy Awards.

Welcome to Paisley Magazine’s #Ms.Independent July issue! Meet KayLee and Hashondra Smith, Mayor Kizzi Knight, Tara Heaton and July cover artist, Georgia Lobo. And it’s time for our annual PET Issue of “purr-love” on three pages; 22 - 24. Plus, there are a couple of community events that you don’t want to miss.

The sun and Neptune are like a couple with an annual appointment with a marriage counselor to check in and make sure all is on track. In a safe space, these two air their grievances and attempt the sort of communication style that will allow conflicts to surface in a healthy, productive way. As it goes with these things, feelings are on the line. What’s said and done cannot be unsaid or undone, so go gingerly and with compassion.

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Maintaining optimal brain health gives us lifelong cognitive power.
Not only does the human brain control bodily functions, it is the most powerful “computer” on earth,
which helps us to understand and grasp the world around us with a full range of thoughts,
feelings and emotions. Keeping your brain in tip top condition is imperative for quality of life.

Think about it! Knowledge is power, especially when it comes to the brain.
Meet our panel of local brain health and wellness experts, as they give us the facts on protecting
our beautiful bustling brains and discuss needed tools for maintaining optimal
levels of brain clarity and function.

Psychologist B. F. Skinner, the formulator of behavior modification theory, was attempting to prove that the same principles that govern the behavior of amoeba, planaria, rats, dogs, and monkeys also govern the behavior of human beings. A very Darwinian proposition, indeed.

What my graduate school professors conveniently “forgot” to tell me: Skinner failed to prove his hypothesis, and no researcher has ever succeeded where Skinner did not. Some have claimed success, but all they’ve succeeded at proving, really, is the fact that human beings are economists by nature. From a very early age, humans weight benefits versus costs and make logical decisions, if not always rational ones.

Happy Mother’s Day, and to our nation’s caregivers and essential workers, we thank you. It’s been quite a shared human experience with the COVID-19 pandemic. We’ve read your heartfelt stories on social media and been honored to share some of ours. Together, we’ve got this.

If the month of May 2020 were a movie, the week of May 10 would be the action sequence. Mercury enters Gemini. Venus retrogrades. And then Jupiter copies that. The omens suggest excellent and fast communication, which we’ll need as relationships and passions swing in an assessing and introspective direction. It’s review time for love, and this will be graded. Then Jupiter backs up, too, which will be felt more strongly in weeks to come.

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Your health is your greatest wealth. No doubt, no one wants to be sick, and people with great
wealth have never been able to pay their way out of death. Great health is the foundation of our quality of life; a strong immune system is the foundation of great health. It is the your frontline defense against illness, so the stronger it is, the stronger you are. Let’s find out more on how to boost your immune system to Herculean strength.

One website is titled “How to Cope with Kids During Coronavirus.” Another, featuring a staged photo of an obviously frazzled mom with a toddler on her lap, tells the reader that “Parents are losing their minds having kids at home during coronavirus!” There’s yet another, advising on “How to Keep Kids Entertained During the Crisis.” On and on it goes, website after website counseling parents on how to deal with being confined at home with one’s kids.

The early Twenty-First Century may be remembered as the “Age of the Personal Soap Opera.” A person makes a soap opera out of a life situation, claims victimhood, garners sympathy, manufactures more soap opera, garners more sympathy, and so on. Soap opera begets soap opera. Forty-plus years of counseling experience has taught me that once a person becomes caught in the soap opera loop, it is harder than hard to get out.

Happy Mother’s Day, and to our nation’s caregivers and essential workers, we thank you. It’s been quite a shared human experience with the COVID-19 pandemic. We’ve read your heartfelt stories on social media and been honored to share some of ours. Together, we’ve got this.