November 2020 Issue
by Erin Cline
One of the most important friendships you’ll ever have in this world
is with the person staring back at you every morning
from the bathroom mirror…
And no, you’re not about to read an ode to selfishness, nor are you about to view an instruction manual for escaping life’s chaos by saying adieu to everyone and climbing every mountain until reaching an ideal destination for a happy, stress-free existence.
Instead, you’re receiving a Selfieship Guide for establishing or strengthening a relationship with yourself.
But before jumping into that, if you’re entertaining any negative thoughts or hesitations regarding valuing and nurturing this kind of relationship, quickly write them on toilet paper and flush them down your toilet of choice. (If you’ve never flushed negativity down a toilet, you’re really missing out on a great deal of fun.)
Now is the time, if you haven’t already, to prioritize a friendship with yourself. So, flush away what holds you back (and no, this doesn’t include obstacles created by annoying in-laws, everyday responsibilities or bad traffic – just interfering thoughts and beliefs) to start discovering who you are and what you love.
It’s not a selfish decision.
It’s not a foolish act.
It’s a lifeline… a rebirth… a party!
Grab a glass of wine, or handful of chocolates, nest into your favorite spot, and let the Selfieship Guide inspire a life-changing metamorphosis.
But first, here’s what this important journey entails:
To be your own best friend, you have to understand and cherish who you are, how you operate and what you value.
This process of self-exploration eventually ignites a chain reaction of realizations: You begin seeing yourself in full color as a unique, interesting and amazing person teeming with purpose and potential.
This awakening not only helps you grasp and appreciate your fundamental qualities, but also shows you how to deeply love, respect and care for yourself.
When you acknowledge and accept who you are, you learn how to be comfortable in your skin, confident in your abilities and courageous with your decisions. And most importantly, you learn how to exist from your core with untamable grit and authenticity – and with the kind of self-love that serves as never-ending fuel for your life.
When you choose to prioritize your selfieship, you start living with some serious gusto.
And ironically, as you learn to love and respect yourself, you train your mind and heart to love others with similar dedication, care and grace, making those relationships grow and bloom. Also, your love might even reach further than your inner circle: Your deeply rooted, yet radiating love might impact the world.
As Martin Luther King, Jr. said in his “Loving Your Enemies” sermon in 1957: “We must discover the power of love, the power, the redemptive power of love. And when we discover that, we will be able to make of this old world a new world. We will be able to make men better. Love is the only way.”
Discover the power of love. Let it pulse through you, transforming your own old world—your mind, body and soul—into one that’s new. Then share the resulting joy, giving it the opportunity to inspire a self-love revolution around you.
Spreading life-changing love is an important mission, but remember to fill yourself with love first by valuing, caring for and celebrating your selfieship.
That’s where love begins.
Here’s the Selfieship Guide:
1. Love Yourself
Zero in on your emotions, mindset and self-talk. What are you feeling? What are you thinking? What are you telling yourself? Pause. Investigate. Understand. Decide how to work with, reframe or let go of discoveries failing to promote self-love.
2. Take Care of Yourself
Sometimes we slip into viewing the world and our lives at an ugly angle with bad lighting. Try not to fall into that sticky trap. But if you do, take a self-care break! Breathe and check in with yourself. Evaluate what’s happening, then create a plan for moving forward – preferably one that cultivates healthy emotions, thoughts and perspectives.
3. Spend Time Enjoying What You Love
Brainstorm what you cherish most in life. Create a list of people you love, hobbies that excite you, views or locations that bring you happiness and topics that fill you with curiosity and delight. Now, how often do you focus on what you’ve listed? Could you make more time for them? If so, try. You deserve to fill areas of your life with what you love and enjoy. Having some good ol’ meaningful FUN is necessary!
4. Stick with a Squad that Adds Magic and Meaning to Your Life
This is easier said than done, but examine your social circles and determine whether the people add to or subtract from the quality of your life. Do they uplift you, or do they drain you? Explore how you feel while interacting with them, then decide how to proceed. Maybe the time has come for practicing better boundaries, or going separate ways. However, if you’ve identified your power squad, tightly hold onto it and never let go. Those are your people!
5. Make Sure Your Thoughts and Actions Align
with Your Core Qualities and Life Goals
Evaluate your thoughts and actions. Do they reflect who you are? Do they line up with your core values? Do they help you reach for your goals? Think about this. Make sure everything aligns with who you are and who you want to be. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”